Containment

I've been thinking alot about my beliefs lately. About God. I complain and complain about how we put him in a Box. I complain about how complicated we make God, how all of the sudden in our society he becomes unreachable. We are afraid of him, hes a right winged prolife republican anti Obama God who wont love us if we don't fit the ALL American Mold. I get frustrated because I am none of those things. I have a love for my country. I feel it aspires at all the right things, and fails at the worst of them. We create this God of fear. So our Loving Jesus gets lost in the mess.
I have a love for God, and yet I find I contain him as much as other people do.

He is never big enough to solve a problem.
He is never the first one I turn to when I am in need.
Easily ignored, and second Guessed. Because he is unseen by me I must be to invaluable for him to even acknowledge.

I'm not saying I feel unloved by God. Or that I don't feel the Grace of Jesus at every minute. I'm saying that I am beginning to realize that I too put containers on my God. I don't allow him in to every aspect of my life. I put my own spin on what he is. He is big enough to do task X, but since Y is different God doesn't apply.

Yesterday this thought was really pushed into motion. I was in Seattle and at the Westlake mall their were Five or Six demonstraters on the corners of the main street. They were holding signs that read things like "for the wages of sin is death" and shouting things about how people were going to go to hell. As I walked past these demonstraters, I was holding hands with my sisters. There were so many people downtown that if we weren't strung together, we would have ended up on opposite sides of the street. Well one of these people saw us holding hands, and started yelling about our sexual sin. He said confess now, lesbianism is Wrong. He yelled some other obscenties my way, and then began to yell at other people. He yelled at the people with multi colored hair and a woman wearing an obama shirt.

I feel that the only thing he succeeded at was driving people away from God. Not toward God. This man judged on appearence. He knew none of us. Yet he felt compelled to call a black pot pink? He didn't get it. He didn't get how Gods Love is bigger than the apperance. He contained Jesus to a small and narrow box and thus showed other people that don't understand or know God yet.. that God is narrow minded.
I read a womans, who will remain nameless, blog about how she is super Christian. She believes that the United States is Gods nation, that white people are Gods people. She offends me. However I find alot of people fall victim to this thought. They beleive that this is a christian nation, we deserve to be great, we deserve the best and its ok to trample on other nations or other people with different beliefs or people who are different from us. Its not only our nation who believes this, other people around the world believe that their religion of choice is right, that their nation and its beliefs are superior. Its just disguisting to me, to box ourselves, or Our God in. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, or whatever religion you find yourself belonging to.. the God in each emphasis Love and thinking beyond what we know, compassion, patience and morality.

I find the human race in general to be a disgusting thing. I like in the matrix how the Smith character compares us to a Virus. Populating one area until the resources are gone, then moving on to destroy the next. I get frustrated at people, and our disgusting ways. Our beliefs, how mean we are to one another, how quickly we show just the opposite of what God teaches. God teaches love, and we show hate. We claim to be christians, and we live a false life, quoting verses at people on the streets, yet we don't abide by any of those things in truth.

I start to believe that God must find us disgusting as well. How can he look down on all the good things he has given us and watch us destroy them? He is doing nothing to stop us from being completely crooked.! He must not care.! Right? Hes done nothing... does no one see what is going on here? This thought takes me over. I become like a Zombie. Ignoring the world. Too offended by it to even look up.

POOF. God hits me. He tells me to stop putting the world, its people, and Him especially into this little box that contains little socks that read one size fits all. He is not a container!

God has been making it pretty obvious. Its like lightening striking. It hits me. I see it. I see it, other people have seen it. We are just too afraid to stand up to the wrong doings. God did think outside of the Box, he put me in situation X to try to change it, yet I didn't see that. I just thought he was too small to fix it, that he didn't do anything. But then I realize, he did. He loved me, hes showed me his love. He wants me to point the way to him.

I disgust myself. I can act all right and all moral, but God sees my heart. I want to have a heart that is like Gods. I don't want to box God in any more. I want to see the oppertunities he is giving me and use them. I want to live with a passion, to stop being the zombie I know I have been.