not alone

Lately I have been struggling with loneliness. I miss having the type of companionship a husband, even a sucky one, can offer. I don’t miss my ex-spouse, but I do miss certain elements. I miss being touched, having someone to help me at night with my baby, and mostly just having someone to talk to about my most random of thoughts.


I have been thinking about getting ‘out there’, ie putting myself out in the playing field. I have no idea where to even begin when it comes to getting ‘out there’. I want God to be the leader of my choices and the reason I find the next man I may call my prey. I don’t want to assume control in this area like so many people do. HOWEVER I don’t want to be one of those people who say “GOD let me win the lotto” but they sit on their couch and never buy a ticket. Those people have the audacity to ask “why have I yet to win?”. God tells us to ask and do. If we want to change something we must first start doing it.

So I ask myself how do I start doing. Am I even ready to start doing? I was divorced in early July, thus I have been divorced just about 3 months. I have however been without a significant other for much longer. I left my spouse over a year ago, and in my eyes he left me much longer ago. There are so many fears I have. Part of me says I need to get over them before I date, the other part knows that they may only go away with knowing I can trust the person I am with.

Dating. I don’t necessarily want to do it. I am unsure I want to get remarried. To go through the hardships of marriage. Its HARD. Both people have to be willing to work on it. And most people in today’s day and age say “its too hard, we fell out of love, we have irreconcilable differences.. etc”. Thus the way most people think is that marriages are easy to come by and easy to let go of.
I also do not know if I am so lonely or miss the company of a spouse enough to give up the new things I have been able to enjoy. I don't have to report to anyone, I have tons of free time, and I can just be all girly with out worrying who I just disturbed.

So that’s where I stand. Lonely, and confused about whether or not I should put myself back up on the market.

I also want to clarify to those who read this and thought.. well she’s not alone. I know this. I know I have God to talk to, a family to help me with my baby, and a great group of girl friends to tolerate my insanities. I am thankful for all of these things.

Mind your own P's and Q's

Yesterday I was at the Grocery store grabbing some items. While I was there I saw a woman leaving the store, she was crying. I, being in my own little world, minding my own space, looked the other way. However a little boy, maybe not so little, about 11 or 12, ran over to her and started to ask her why she was crying. His mother, mortified, snatched his arm and pulled him away, and said to her son "mind your own P's and Q's. Its not your problem or you buisness"

After this scenario, I sat there STUNNED. I was like that mother, wanting to leave that woman alone. I had learned to not be authentic to not be real. That womans son hadn't learned that yet. He was concerned, as should I have been and everyone else.

We tend to go about the world in our own little Bubbles. Minding our own buisness. Why do we do this? I dont really have an answer, other than to say we are selfish beings, but also because we are taught its wrong to be involved. I know that sounds like a contradiction to the many political campaigns and other commercials we hear.. They say DO something, get involved, make a difference... yet when we do we are more often than not shut down.

Let me explain. When I was married, the family I was married into was emotionally and spirtually unhealthy. They would wrong me and I would cease to trust them. I would be called unforgiving, but I had forgiven them. I just didn't want to let them belittle me again. I wanted to see a quality change in their lives, I would say.. something like "in order for you to get X you have to show me Y" thus I would be deemed judgemental. I was deemed judgemental because I wanted to improve their life. Thus I became afraid of being involved with them or telling them my thoughts, and more and more afraid to stick up for my thoughts outside of my family life.

I notice these type of things in alot of situations. When a person sticks up for what they beleive and what they saw Jesus stick up for they are deemed Judgemental. Its almost as if we aren't allowed to hold anyone accountable for fear of the stigma that we are 'Judgemental'. So if doing something means we are judgmental.. then doing nothing and ignoring a problem in my eyes makes you a lemming.. FOLLOWING one after the other and jumping to your doom.

I argue to say then being 'Judgemental' is far better than being a lemming. That woman in the store was crying. Who knows why. I didn't bother to ask. I should have. Even if it was her fault she was crying. Maybe she lives with a man who keeps emotionally abusing her. She could leave. I could have lovingly said you know you need to leave, if you dont he will keep abusing you and you are enabling his actions thus equally at fault at this point for allowing yourself to be abused. She might say I was judging her. But judging and accountablity are so close. I am not talking about bad judgements here.. like I see a dirty man on the streets.. who looks like a Bum and I instantly think BUM, Alcholic, etc.. thats a bad judgement.. one not even based in truth. I am talking about the judgementalism that gets us involved.

IF we see a bad situation we need to get involved. We see a woman crying. We should attempt to see if she needs something we can offer. We may only be able to offer a hug.. but shouldn't we try? Why should we not get involved. Why is it ok to not get involved? If we see someone getting beat to death. Its not a judgement to say that this situation is wrong. We are enabling the beaters and beating the victim if we watch or even if we walk away and ignore. To sit there while someone is being beat and do nothing is wrong.

I can't always mind my own P's and Q's. Nor should I. I don't care if I seem Judgemental any longer. I don't care if my caring drives away people. Because the only people I am driving away will one day need someone to care.. someone to JUDGE the situation they are in, hold them accountable, help them, and NOT enable them. So if you see someone in need of help don't be afraid of what could happen of being judged or judging. God calls us to hold up our brothers and sisters. To not let them fall. He calls us to sin no more. Doing nothing is a Sin. Standing idly by is a SIN.

follow this

I just read the most intriguing blog I suggest you all go check it out at http://brokentelegraph.com/
the latest blog entry is about the dangers of being nice and not good.

I have never really thought about this before. Nice versus Good. To me the seemed virtually the same. But my eyes were opened. Truths were spoken to me.

Nice is sugar coating an event or ignoring one all together, Good is being honest and loveing and speaking truth even if it means hurting someones feelings.

My life is full of nice people. We go about our ways in a very nice manner. We don't invade peoples space, we don't confront anyone who doesn't ask for help, and we don't question someones motives even if they appear nice. I am one of these nice people in my own life. I see things and do things that take away my own character and the character of others. I am nice so that I don't have to be uncomfortable or so that Ie do not have to make anyone else uncomfortable. I don't fight for the things I should.


I don't want this anymore. I want myself to be strong. To be good. I want to speak the truth in love, I no longer want to be fearful of making someone uncomfortable or even myself for that matter.

Sigh. There are so many areas in my thinking that are changing. So many matters of my heart are dissappearing and then new ones, ones that are truely relevant are appearing. God is changing me. Change. My heart is changing, my soul is changing. God is working so hard on me. Hes forming me and YES I am fearful. He asks alot and it is frightening to do something I don't feel I can do! HOWEVER I trust his work. I trust him and I KNOW I am not alone... SO I am getting over my fears and opening up my eyes to his workings in my soul.!

Am

so I have been scoping at other peoples blogs and seeing what other people rant about.

I came across a young girls blog (http://the-in-between-girl.blogspot.com/) and she made a super cool collage on her blog to show an outfit she wanted to wear.

So I made one to show in some way or another who I am

What do you deserve?

Ask yourself.. what is it you deserve? Do you deserve the current situation you are in? Yes the choices we make land us in some crazy messes, but other peoples choices effect us as well. If your parents are drug addicts and homeless you and you are too.. was it your choice? Do you deserve that? If your born into a rich family and you do nothing with your life but spend, do you deserve that? If you are born in Africa and starve to death, did you deserve that?

I ask this because it is a serious issue in many peoples hearts and thoughts. Many people believe we deserve the situation we are in.. poor earned the right to be poor and rich the right to be wealthy.
If you are born in another country, one that women are not allowed to pursue an education, do you desrerve that?

We are taugth from the moment we come out to pursue the job that makes us happy, yet makes us money. So if I truely pursued the job I wanted, I'd be one broke woman. I love to study and talk Egypt. There is no money in this. Some jobs by nature make more money, ie doctors, but not everyone can be a doctor. We need Cops, we need nurses, we need janitors, we need garbage men. Yet if we are not Doctors and garbage men instead we make just 1/10th the amount they do. We have chosen to be poor.

What I don't understand is why we label one job more important than another. Why we put a price on a job. A police mans job is highly important. S/He protects the road, my home, and my family. When I am in danger s/he puts their life on the line for me. Yet his max average pay is $85,000 per year. Even with an education. The doctor saves lives. He works long hours and endures stress. His max pay is almost undefinable, but rarely over 2 mil a year. Both these jobs are important. We need both of these jobs. So why is one deemed worth more than the other?

I don't believe anyone deserves more than another. Yes we make choices. But what we do for a living and what we make financially shouldn't mean we deserve to not eat or have health care or shelter over our heads.

Sigh. Jesus wanted us to be equal to care for one another. To share. His darn ideals were closer to socialism and communism. (NOW MY FELLOW READERS LOOK UP THESE IDEAOLOGIES AND THEIR DEFINITIONS B4 JUDGING ME. COMMUNISM IS A BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT. YES PEOPLE ARE TO GREEDY.. BUT MAYBE SOME FORM COULD WORK. THE NEXT SOCIAL MOVEMENT SHOULD BE CALLED JESUSISM.)

So yet again, here I am frustrated at the worlds view point. Wanting to wash worldy thoughts from my brain, and think for the world not with it.

Those Damned Scientists

Those darn scientists. They are at it again. Trying once and for all to prove that life outside of our bodies does not exist. The University of Southampton is launching the world's largest-ever study of near-death experiences this week. The AWARE (AWAreness during REsuscitation) study is to be launched by the Human Consciousness Project of the University of Southampton - an international collaboration of scientists and physicians who have joined forces to study the human brain, consciousness and clinical death.
They define death the following way : Contrary to popular perception, death is not a specific moment, scientists say. It is a process that begins when the heart stops beating, the lungs stop working and the brain ceases functioning. In short The AWARE study is basically just a way to prove that all those folks who have had near death experiences, seen God and all that other jazz that happens when you die or come close to dying, is crap. They want us to believe that its chemicals and mis-firing synapses inducing the images in a dying brain.


Scientist and theoristis go around trying to prove that God and the after life do not exist. They either do it by studying things like the AWARE group or by saying that God is just purely made up. You see religions can be very similar. One Ultimate or supreme being, they all encourage you to be moral and help your neighbor, they all state that there is some form of life after death (heaven , reincarnation... etc), they all state that we come from one mother or Orgin (eve, earth, etc) and they all believe The End of Days. It's just about unanimous that, at the end of the world, there will be a great battle between good and evil, and Final Judgment will be made.

So the thought behind alot of thinking to disprove GOD (and what used to be my own) is that if they are all similar they are all mythological and made up crap. Now I believe strongly in a GOD who loves me. I found that my thinking and studying and finding these similarities only eventually led to an affirmation of belief.. I could never quite disprove God in my own mind.

Any ways.. why .. why .. why can't scientist let well enough alone.? Say I am wrong (which I AM NOT) but lets just say for their sake there is no God, no after life. Then what is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of being kind to one another, of doing things right, of taking care of the Earth.? If there is no after life then none of the crap we do matters. So if it didn't matter I believe we'd all become depressed and just Blow our earth to peices so much faster than we are now. So why do the scientist want to depress the rest of mankind just because they can't fathom the idea that some one some where created them and loves them?

So anyway I do think the study is a cool idea because I am betting on GOD and betting they wont be able to explain anything that happens with anything but the following statement "We have yet to discover why people experience certain events while their body is physically dead. We will continue researching these types of events and until we have a more clear understanding and broader study group, the answers to life and death will remain a mystery". Some thing like that will do!

Take a stand

Take a stand. DO SOMETHING. This is what I frequently tell myself.

As a Christian... and a blessed individual, I should do what I can for those who can not do for themselves.

Many people ask.. why should I do anything at all. I ask why not? Why should we not do what GOD has called us to do.. HELP our FELLOW man out. ITs wrong to ignore the many issues the world is facing. Animal cruelty, animal extinction, and global warming, pollution. God Gave us this place... he commanded we care for it... and here we are trashing it. It is also wrong to ignore the HUMAN CONDITION. Poverty, starvation, illnesses that can be prevented, dehydration, malnutrition, lack of education, homelessness.. and so many other things.

Why do I, and so many others ignore the realities of this place. Why do I pretend that since I don't see the suffering its not truely going on. Can I really sit here and just rant and do nothing. Can I sit here and see it occur and do nothing! I know its going on.. maybe I don't see it.. but its real. I think its a sin to do nothing. God didn't just sit around, he took action. I believe that he wants us to take action as well.!

There is only one planet.. EARTH and there is only one people.. GODs people.


So I got to thinking... what issues effect my heart most. Poverty and homelessness. So todays lesson is about Poverty.

Thanks for reading.

So I got the following information from DOSOMETHING.Org

11 Facts about Global Poverty

1. Half the world – nearly three billion people – live on less than two dollars a day.
2. According to UNICEF, 26,500-30,000 children die each day due to poverty – that’s 18 children dying every minute, a child every three seconds.
3. About 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation.
4. For the 1.9 billion children from the developing world: 640 million are without adequate shelter, 400 million do not have access to safe water, 270 million do not have access to health services.
5. About 2.2 million children die each year because they are not immunized.
6. About 1.6 billion people – a quarter of humanity – live without electricity.
7. Over nine million people, of which five million are children, die worldwide each year because of hunger and malnutrition.
8. Over 11 million children die each year from preventable causes like malaria, diarrhea and pneumonia.
9. About 20% of the population in the developed nations consume 86% of the world’s goods.
10. The poorest 40% of the world’s population accounts for 5% of the global income. The richest 20% accounts for three-quarters of world income.
11. Around 27-28% of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted.

Background on Poverty

There are plenty of statistics and data about global poverty--these are just a few:

• Each year, more than 8 million people around the world die because they are too poor to stay alive.
• Over 1 billion people—1 in 6 people around the world—live in extreme poverty, defined as living on less than $1 a day.
• More than 800 million go hungry each day.
• Over 100 million primary school-age children cannot go to school.

Nearly 3 billion people—half of the world's population—are considered poor. Lots of men, women and children endure unimaginable obstacles that prevent them from receiving their basic human rights.

When the UN created the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948, the signers proclaimed that all people have the right to education, work, health and well-being. Today, however, millions around the world are too crippled by poverty to fulfill these basic rights. Millions continue to go hungry. Scores of children never step inside a classroom. Families watch their loved ones die from largely preventable causes because they do not have access to adequate medical care. In essence, poverty is a denial of human rights.

SO lets do something Fellow readers get involved.! Go to dosomething.org or

Take a Stand Against Poverty

Take a Stand Against Poverty - join the 43.7 million people who've demanded a more urgent political reponse to global poverty.

Over 43.7 million people, in 127 countries have broken the Guinness World Record – set last year at 23.5 million – for the largest number of people to “STAND UP AGAINST POVERTY AND FOR THE MILLENNIUM DEVELOPMENT GOALS” in 24 hours.

In 127 countries, millions stood and spoke out to demand a more urgent political response to the growing crisis of global poverty and inequality. They called on their world leaders to keep their commitments made in the Millennium Development Goals.

Add your voice today! -- http://standagainstpoverty.org/report/2

Rain

Yes I will do the rain dance. I love the rain. I hear so many of my friends and radio host say" We had a terrible summer, and here comes that darn rain". I find that amusing. Its like people dont know where they live or are just to stubborn to get it. I just want to say "HELLO this is washington not california.. you want blue skies and warm weather MOVE"

I love it in Washington. I find the weather to be a perfect. It never gets to hot or to cold. We don't have any drastic weather conditions, and the rain leads to the most beautiful green I have ever seen.

Today is supposedly one of the last nice days we will see in a while. Alot of people are sad about it. I guess I will miss going to the beach and the river. But I love the rain. FOR some odd reason I find my happiness when it pours. I love to just sit in it. To let it drench me. The rain brings me a peace that no amount of clear waters and blue skies ever could.




The only way I truely appreciate a non rainy day is at night. The night sky almost brings me as much peace as the rain. I feel close to my creator both when dancing in the rain and sleeping under the stars.

Sigh I love my home. I love the rain. I love the sky. I love God

Rain dancing away...

I love it so much I made this:

I'm Fat, a passing thought

The way we look at women, and a womans body has become an intense sociological job, Everyone has a set standard, everyone has a view point, and for the most part, being thin has been the standard since the 1960's. Thanks Twiggy. Women have a tendancy to obsess with how they look, and historically speaking a womans body was always under the microscope, but more recently the womans body equals health and happiness.


As a society we are growing heavier and as we get older we do gain more weight , our body preferences are growing thinner. Being thin, thin is defined by Hollywoods veiw point, is seen as the only way to be satisfied with ones self. Thinness will lead to a great man, great sex, and a great job, thus a happy and full life. Despite the concerns of feminists and other observers, body image issues seem to be only growing in importance. With movies like 13 going on 30 and the women trying to promote a change in magazines, trying to push them toward real women, I still only see a lean toward the unreal, the ungettable look.

This obsession with the way women look hasn't helped us see ourselves for what we are. If we are on the heavier side we are judged as lazy and unhappy. If we are 'too' thin we are seen as bitchy or snobby. Feminism doesn't always free women either. It hasn't helped society see women for real women, but at the same time feminist ideal pushes us to stray away from things women are naturally good at nurturing, thus we tend to no longer nuruture ourselves or our bodies. Then hollywoods standards are very obvious. Watch any show. A man can be heavy and bald, and moderately if not completely unattractive, but still have a successful show. However his wife is always super attractive. She is thing and her hair is always long and thick. As a society we pride ourselves as being advanced in thought, but I ask how is putting a woman in a BOX an advanced thought?

I know that appearance has always been important. Being heavy used to be a status quo. If you had some chunk you were obviously wealthy because you can afford to eat not because you were lazy. Being tan hasn't' always meant you had the money to lounge around and be a bronzed beauty, it used to mean you were a laborer, the poor portion of society. Appearance has always mattered, but what we are supposed t look like changes.

According to Psychology today, when most people think of body image, they think about aspects of physical appearance, attractiveness, and beauty. But body image is so much more. It's our mental representation of ourselves; it's what allows us to understand ourselves. Body image isn't simply influenced by feelings, and it actively influences much of our behavior, self-esteem, and psychopathology. Our body perceptions, feelings, and beliefs govern our life plan who we meet, who we marry, the nature of our interactions, and our day-to-day comfort level.

The thought is "if I were only 5'5 and 115 lbs have clear skin and great hair, I'd have it all'
I just want to know this, how come what we weigh equals self satisfaction?

For the most part what society expects becomes what is real. Unrealistic expectations become reality. In order for a man to see a woman as attractive, she has to be thin. In order for him to fall in love she has to be hot. AND vice-versa. Women wont go seeking a relationship unless she feels comfortable with her body and very rarely do women over size 12 feel okay with their bodies, thus the whole system is pushed into overdrive -- reaffirming that size matters. When in fact it doesn't.. it is our damn perception!


Sigh. I woke up today and hated my body. Normally I am completely comfortable with it but I realized I am Fifteen pounds heavier than I want to be and I don't look the exact way I want to. My world is a slightly lonely place and today I blamed my body for it. Stupid societal expectations. Even my girlfriends who are highly advanced in many thoughts, still influenced todays reaction at myself. They are beautiful and thin women.. I am bigger than most and yet they still see themselves as FAT so.. how do they see me? I MUST BE HUGE! Then I know my reactions at myself will influence them. Perhaps they see me as thin? and my thinking I'm disgusting will only encourage their further thinking they are disguisting as well! RAWR cycles, I hate them.!


This whole way of the world and its damn importance was not an is not how God wants it.
How do I change my own view point? How do I see me for me? How do I say I am beautiful to God and that all that matters? Today its going to be a struggle. Everyday is. But I need to smack myself and say I am beautiful to me and to God.. SO SCREW the worlds idea.!

So to my fellow readers:

Lets start a new fad, a new trend, a new view point,

LETS LOVE OUR BODIES JUST THE WAY THEY ARE

opposite way

So being single in this day in age is like being on a game show. Its unrealistic and the expectations and goal are just not worth it. Todays society tells me that when I meet a guy, I should be sleeping with him by the end of the first date... and in love after we've had sex.

Its not like when I am around a nice man I don't want to kiss him; but the thought doesn't go much further than that. For starters I can't fathom the idea of sleeping with some one I dont first love, and secondly I can't fathom sleeping with someone I am not married to. I know that sounds seriously old fashioned, and I really dont care. Society has set the pace. I have seen a few people just a few run the other way.

In the United State, the new idol worship isn't a wooden statue, its the lives of the rich and famous. We strive to do what it appears they do. For the most part people with in hollywood do what we expect.. they set this pace of unmarried sex and quick fixes. However I have seen 2 examples of famous people attempting to RUN the other way. The Jonas Brothers a famous boy band on Disney is wearing purity rings. Purity rings are worn to symbolize that fact that the wearer intends to stay pure until marriage. They were made fun of at the VMA's and only 2 people stuck up for them. One was Jordin Sparks ( a fellow purity ring wearer) and Paris Hilton.



Its not shocking that they were made fun of. The shocker was that Paris Hilton, a pace setter in the flesh, stuck up for them. Sigh. I wasn't sure what to make of all of that. But maybe even the pace setters wish they too could run the other direction.

With the majority of people believing that sex is dating. How do I expect to meet a decent man who is not retarded with society? Can I stay true to my own personal expectations? Or will societal pressures, norms, and a man I think is hot convince me other wise?

Dating, a Really scary idea. Actually getting along with a man long enough to make him commit to be my boyfriend ... and to commit to the same principles and or similar ones.. almost seems impossible. LOL.


So all this ranting was brought on by my new favorite song:

Opposite way by Leeland. Lyrics:

Living in the same town
for all these years
Doing the same old things
hanging with the same crowd
and it's starting to get crippling
you never felt in place
and you tell yourself it's all okay
but something's different today
you want to run the opposite way
and it seems like you're locked in a cage
and you need to find a way of escape
when everyone's setting the pace- it's okay to run the opposite way

and the Father sent his Son down
the Light of men
the cross he bore was crippling
rejected in His own town
and they couldn't see the Sun shining
He knelt in the garden and prayed
Father let this cup pass from me
It's not Your will for me to stay
Your will for me is the opposite way

and it seems like He was locked in a cage
and He couldn't find a way of escape
but through the cross He conquered the grave
my Jesus ran the opposite way

Oh, and through the cross He conquered the grave
Oh, He ran the other way
Yeah, through the cross He conquered the grave
So you could run the opposite way

Sisters

Most people know that I have 6 sisters. Yes , crazy I know. I am the oldest of all Six. In the line up its Myself, Karissa (full) Monica (step) April (half) Todd (the one and only brother making 7) Sarah & Malerie (twin step sisters) and Julia (half). Of my six sisters and one brother I only get to see 3, therefore I am only really close to those three.. .Karissa, Sarah analerie.

Karissa and Sarah are a unique brand of beautiful and fun. They love make up, being dressed up, and looking good. I have yet to see Karissa have a bad day in over Ten years. Its amazing how she always glows. Sarah strives to be like her.. . sometimes taking it to far and becoming snobby, which Karissa isn't.. except with Clothes... but never in the general sense of snob. They love their bodies, they love to eat, and their confidence in the way they look in general is awe inspiring. To be that comfortable is what all women would like to be.

During the summer months and early hunting season Karissa and I get the privilege of taking care of our younger sisters. Sarah seems to always get stuck with Karissa. Or better put Karissa gets stuck with Sarah. They have fun eating, watching movies, and just cruising the town. As for Malerie, she gets stuck with me. We have a totally good time as well but tend to be the Odd sisters in the Gang.

I love all my siblings, however; I have a very close kinship with my sister Malerie. Even though we are only step sisters, it is like we are genetically linked. we have similar taste in things, activities, boys, and similar view points on life in general. We love to play and do weird and random things as well.

In July alone Malerie and I did so many random things, I was considering writing a book entitled.. How to survive a sisterhood of weirdness. Our first adventure was tubing down snoqualmie river. This ended badly. The river went at less than one mile an hour, and our car was 3 miles away. We ended up walking the majority of the shore, getting stuck in mud, smelling like fish, climbing rock walls, getting yelled at by farmers, and running across farm land with our pink rafts around our mid section. A very hilarious scenario in retrospect.

Our second adventure was in our traveling to tonasket to my parents property. The trip started with random photos of random sites, me unknowingly showing my underwear to everyone in Omaks Walmart, and my daughter rolling away in the shopping cart about 10 car lengths away from me with out me noticing :(. During the vacation we went quadding in the okanagon where we went past a crazy mans house, saw deer, and almost hit 'wild' cattle. To add to the craziness of us, we jumped off a paddle boat into a freezing cold lake, jumped onto and climbed giant rocks, and ended our adventures attempting to walk like deer.

Our latest adventure was to Forks. We went there on a whim. Our favorite book twilight was written and supposed to take place there. We took the ferry over to Kingston, and while on the ferry... I unwillingly showed half the ferry my underwear. I was wearing a skirt and outside, and well the wind just exposed me immediately upon movement of the ferry. On our way to forks we laughed and listened to great music, all while ignoring a very unhappy daughter of mine in the back. (she cried the entire time) . We talked about how weird we were for traveling 4 hours just to go to forks. We thought for some reason we were unique. When we arrived in Forks we learned we were not the only wierdos. Thousands of people had already come before us and probably twenty earlier that day. Apparently we aren't the only people who love Jacob and Edward with all our hearts.. to the point of obsession. The trip wasn't a complete waste though, we saw all the sets to were the movie (that was made on our book) were shot. We found a beautiful beach (rialto) and had a great time.

Sigh. Summer is over. Who knows when malerie and I will have more wild and crazy strange fun.

I love my sisters.