I read a wonderful blog (http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/) the other day. For the most part I agreed with what the author had to say. I respect that she was willing to see how she had poor discernment on her first post and was willing to say so and repost. However, her post got me thinking about how women are perceived on a sexual level.
There is still a great stigma that exists on women and their ability to express their sexuality. I am not sure where it comes from but it has existed in our culture for too long. Yes times are changing and women are allowed more and more to express themselves, however what is allowed, in my opinion only enforces stereotypes and continues to lock women in a box of expression. Now don't get me wrong the following discussion is full of my opinions and own personal experiences, but my desire is to create an enlightenment on who women are sexually.
I often get upset when I hear discussions about how women's sexuality. There is often double standards, ridiculous expectations, blurred lines, and a culture that lacks awareness of women's sexuality. You hear from blogs like the one above that young girls are too seductive. Yet at the same time you hear that in marriage it is the female partner that lacks the sexual drive. Its interesting. If the same young girl can be seductive how does she learn to shut down sexually? The answer is convoluted and saturated with expectation of our very confused society.
In my church I have heard it said that men are visual by nature. That women should be careful how they dress because men can't "un-see" the sexual images of an attractive woman. They say men are pleasure driven. In the same breathe its said that women aren't as driven by the visual field and often do not enjoy sex the same as men. I believe both of these facts to be basically untrue. Human beings are sexual by nature. Both male and female. Not one or the other. In order to have survived as a specie both genders had to partake in the act of sex for the last few thousand years. In order to desire to reproduce their is some scientific proof that women are attracted to mates that look like they could protect off spring. Thus basing the desire to mate on a visual aspect. In order to desire to continue to mate women must enjoy the act. Because if they didn't child birth would not be worth going through over and over with out also enjoying the act of getting pregnant. I can't imagine how human beings would be here in the great numbers that exist today if women didn't enjoy sex.
Even the bible discusses how women enjoy sex and enjoy the look of their mate. Yes, the bible. The song of solomon is all about the act of mating and enjoying sex between a couple. Song of solomon 5:10 My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. 11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. 12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. 13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. 14 His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. 15 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. 16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend,
Reading this, it becomes clear to me that women in generations past have enjoyed the way men look in a lustful manner. The expectation that women should be modest should be met by a similar expectation that men too should be modest.
But what is modesty? what is appropriate what is not? Who defines this? Society defines what is acceptable. Young girls with pouty lips are obviously "inappropriate". Our society has the expectation a woman look a certain way and at the same time be modest. Its a mixed message. The porn industry is filled with women in the same sultry pose. If it was truly unacceptable in society, the porn and sex industry would not be booming like it is. Men expect a woman to be "thin" "young" "attractive" right? When a woman is attractive she is then sexually desired? Is that what the message is? If you are a woman you have to be sexy to get a mate, yet if you are too sexy you are shunned. I often believe what is believed in our society is propaganda to continue to allow the porn industry and the sex (human trafficking) industry to continue to grow. Men are allowed to look at naked women and buy sex because women are inappropriate. They deserve to be dehumanized. Right? The same woman who may look at a man lust fully is told she is behaving like a man or inappropriately. Double standard.
What am I getting at you wonder? I am getting at the need to educate people on sex. Their is so much focus on how a woman can be inappropriate and how she is too "sexy". Yet when she is married she has learned that its not okay to be sexy and is expected to be sexual after being told it wasn't okay. Very confusing! People need to understand that both men and women are sexual beings. Sex shouldn't be sold. Women being sexual isn't an excuse for a man thinking inappropriately or buying sex. Men need to be educated as well. They should be taught how to be respectful and taught that women's bodies are beautiful not inappropriate items to be lusted after.
