Pain

After deliberating about how people choose not to feel emotions, and talking with a friend about how frustrating it truely is to watch someone ignore the reality of their circumstance... I found a poem that reminded me that I was once like that to. It reminded me of how I was so confused, so lost, and how I desperately wanted to be happy.. to have something make me happy. So at that point (october 2002) I wrote the following poem:

Am I all that I seem
are there defects that you must be able to see
Is there any mask that I could wear
to hide that which deforms me
Is this pain in my soul simply just a dream
if my goodness was infact evil, would I care
Am I insane or is this the way it has to be
my troubled soul caught in the worlds hypnotic snare
what happened to make me so lost with out a theme
Why oh why does the mask of pain so obviously wear on me


I find it amazing that even though I was so lost and confused.. I knew I was. Sometimes I find myself in a train of thinking that says.. "that person is so lost... they don't even know it"... but I am glad SO GLAD that God made me creative and that I wrote down my struggles. Thus I am made aware of the possibilities of all human souls.. I am made aware through my own experience that God is greater than my stupidity and if I can overcome... So can so many other people.