The way we look at women, and a womans body has become an intense sociological job, Everyone has a set standard, everyone has a view point, and for the most part, being thin has been the standard since the 1960's. Thanks Twiggy. Women have a tendancy to obsess with how they look, and historically speaking a womans body was always under the microscope, but more recently the womans body equals health and happiness.
As a society we are growing heavier and as we get older we do gain more weight , our body preferences are growing thinner. Being thin, thin is defined by Hollywoods veiw point, is seen as the only way to be satisfied with ones self. Thinness will lead to a great man, great sex, and a great job, thus a happy and full life. Despite the concerns of feminists and other observers, body image issues seem to be only growing in importance. With movies like 13 going on 30 and the women trying to promote a change in magazines, trying to push them toward real women, I still only see a lean toward the unreal, the ungettable look.
This obsession with the way women look hasn't helped us see ourselves for what we are. If we are on the heavier side we are judged as lazy and unhappy. If we are 'too' thin we are seen as bitchy or snobby. Feminism doesn't always free women either. It hasn't helped society see women for real women, but at the same time feminist ideal pushes us to stray away from things women are naturally good at nurturing, thus we tend to no longer nuruture ourselves or our bodies. Then hollywoods standards are very obvious. Watch any show. A man can be heavy and bald, and moderately if not completely unattractive, but still have a successful show. However his wife is always super attractive. She is thing and her hair is always long and thick. As a society we pride ourselves as being advanced in thought, but I ask how is putting a woman in a BOX an advanced thought?
I know that appearance has always been important. Being heavy used to be a status quo. If you had some chunk you were obviously wealthy because you can afford to eat not because you were lazy. Being tan hasn't' always meant you had the money to lounge around and be a bronzed beauty, it used to mean you were a laborer, the poor portion of society. Appearance has always mattered, but what we are supposed t look like changes.
According to Psychology today, when most people think of body image, they think about aspects of physical appearance, attractiveness, and beauty. But body image is so much more. It's our mental representation of ourselves; it's what allows us to understand ourselves. Body image isn't simply influenced by feelings, and it actively influences much of our behavior, self-esteem, and psychopathology. Our body perceptions, feelings, and beliefs govern our life plan who we meet, who we marry, the nature of our interactions, and our day-to-day comfort level.
The thought is "if I were only 5'5 and 115 lbs have clear skin and great hair, I'd have it all'
I just want to know this, how come what we weigh equals self satisfaction?
For the most part what society expects becomes what is real. Unrealistic expectations become reality. In order for a man to see a woman as attractive, she has to be thin. In order for him to fall in love she has to be hot. AND vice-versa. Women wont go seeking a relationship unless she feels comfortable with her body and very rarely do women over size 12 feel okay with their bodies, thus the whole system is pushed into overdrive -- reaffirming that size matters. When in fact it doesn't.. it is our damn perception!
Sigh. I woke up today and hated my body. Normally I am completely comfortable with it but I realized I am Fifteen pounds heavier than I want to be and I don't look the exact way I want to. My world is a slightly lonely place and today I blamed my body for it. Stupid societal expectations. Even my girlfriends who are highly advanced in many thoughts, still influenced todays reaction at myself. They are beautiful and thin women.. I am bigger than most and yet they still see themselves as FAT so.. how do they see me? I MUST BE HUGE! Then I know my reactions at myself will influence them. Perhaps they see me as thin? and my thinking I'm disgusting will only encourage their further thinking they are disguisting as well! RAWR cycles, I hate them.!
This whole way of the world and its damn importance was not an is not how God wants it.
How do I change my own view point? How do I see me for me? How do I say I am beautiful to God and that all that matters? Today its going to be a struggle. Everyday is. But I need to smack myself and say I am beautiful to me and to God.. SO SCREW the worlds idea.!
So to my fellow readers:
Lets start a new fad, a new trend, a new view point,
LETS LOVE OUR BODIES JUST THE WAY THEY ARE
So being single in this day in age is like being on a game show. Its unrealistic and the expectations and goal are just not worth it. Todays society tells me that when I meet a guy, I should be sleeping with him by the end of the first date... and in love after we've had sex.
Its not like when I am around a nice man I don't want to kiss him; but the thought doesn't go much further than that. For starters I can't fathom the idea of sleeping with some one I dont first love, and secondly I can't fathom sleeping with someone I am not married to. I know that sounds seriously old fashioned, and I really dont care. Society has set the pace. I have seen a few people just a few run the other way.
In the United State, the new idol worship isn't a wooden statue, its the lives of the rich and famous. We strive to do what it appears they do. For the most part people with in hollywood do what we expect.. they set this pace of unmarried sex and quick fixes. However I have seen 2 examples of famous people attempting to RUN the other way. The Jonas Brothers a famous boy band on Disney is wearing purity rings. Purity rings are worn to symbolize that fact that the wearer intends to stay pure until marriage. They were made fun of at the VMA's and only 2 people stuck up for them. One was Jordin Sparks ( a fellow purity ring wearer) and Paris Hilton.
Its not shocking that they were made fun of. The shocker was that Paris Hilton, a pace setter in the flesh, stuck up for them. Sigh. I wasn't sure what to make of all of that. But maybe even the pace setters wish they too could run the other direction.
With the majority of people believing that sex is dating. How do I expect to meet a decent man who is not retarded with society? Can I stay true to my own personal expectations? Or will societal pressures, norms, and a man I think is hot convince me other wise?
Dating, a Really scary idea. Actually getting along with a man long enough to make him commit to be my boyfriend ... and to commit to the same principles and or similar ones.. almost seems impossible. LOL.
So all this ranting was brought on by my new favorite song:
Opposite way by Leeland. Lyrics:
Living in the same town
for all these years
Doing the same old things
hanging with the same crowd
and it's starting to get crippling
you never felt in place
and you tell yourself it's all okay
but something's different today
you want to run the opposite way
and it seems like you're locked in a cage
and you need to find a way of escape
when everyone's setting the pace- it's okay to run the opposite way
and the Father sent his Son down
the Light of men
the cross he bore was crippling
rejected in His own town
and they couldn't see the Sun shining
He knelt in the garden and prayed
Father let this cup pass from me
It's not Your will for me to stay
Your will for me is the opposite way
and it seems like He was locked in a cage
and He couldn't find a way of escape
but through the cross He conquered the grave
my Jesus ran the opposite way
Oh, and through the cross He conquered the grave
Oh, He ran the other way
Yeah, through the cross He conquered the grave
So you could run the opposite way
Its a matter of time. Before we all fail at something. Its so easy to be human. My question for everyone is.. is there ever a time were we dont fail? Jesus was perfect. 100% flawless. Was anyone even close? like 80% ? I can say for myself.. I fail alot. I find that I am in the 20ish% maybe under .. LOL.. category.
So Authenticity. Its my goal now. Being authentic. Real, assertive, and loving. Even if I get better at these things.. will I ever reach over 40%? or is this percent crap just retarded? It is. I know. We are either perfect, thus being God, or we are imperfect thus being Human. This is something I am coming to terms with. Being ok with an imperfect life.. and circumstances.. or atleast my ideas of perfect. Being ok with the fact that I am only Human. God forgives and infinitely loves me.. this is something I dont do this for myself. I don't always forgive myself... my expectations are that of the worlds.. and not of Gods. I know I need to be real.
I believe my attempts to change, to better myself, my spirituality, my life, etc. will not only make me a better friend (eventually) but will influence me to reach out more and more to my heavenly father.
I am hoping that my fastlessness will only encourage my search for the authentic self. To find the truth in the fact that imperfection makes me beautiful. That my human ways and attempts and successes to be better will bring a smile to my Creators face.. and that I can truly believe HE loves me. I am so grateful that God has forgiven me and that He infinitely Loves.
Forgiven
All the bad I've done The cruelty I wished for I ask it all to be undone The lies and deceit all the absurdity in this world I pray it to be cleaned. These moments in life so few, unable to look back I wish for it all to be forgiven Stupid mistakes or maybe just one can it be forgotten Loud and forever lost what happened to my land of trees Lord please bring the peace I need
That was a poem I wrote a few years ago.. when I was still searching to be 'perfect'... but what I find so interesting is that somehow even before I knew Gods love... I knew that the only way to find peace and 'perfection' was thru Gods forgiveness, thru being real.
