Empty

So here is my new poem. Its kind of depressing as I am trying to be positive and happy... I still find it really easy to be...

Sorrowful

So my poem is called Empty

Enjoy!

My thoughts cannot be tuned by fading heart
cancer has striken my soul
It feels as though water has flooded my lungs
and my life torn apart
Aching, dying, last breathe, I'm thrown to the coal
this battle for me so lost
I see now that Im the one who is to blame
the searing lights lost their rung
Everything fallen apart, nothing the same
who I am, not what I was
Can you cure this disease of a dying soul
are you even listening
Beautiful disasters of life created by you
empty ignored, and unloved
I wait for you, restore this small empty crate
full cherished, and loved by God
Even when all I truely am isn't worthy
God will you restore this shame

Pain

After deliberating about how people choose not to feel emotions, and talking with a friend about how frustrating it truely is to watch someone ignore the reality of their circumstance... I found a poem that reminded me that I was once like that to. It reminded me of how I was so confused, so lost, and how I desperately wanted to be happy.. to have something make me happy. So at that point (october 2002) I wrote the following poem:

Am I all that I seem
are there defects that you must be able to see
Is there any mask that I could wear
to hide that which deforms me
Is this pain in my soul simply just a dream
if my goodness was infact evil, would I care
Am I insane or is this the way it has to be
my troubled soul caught in the worlds hypnotic snare
what happened to make me so lost with out a theme
Why oh why does the mask of pain so obviously wear on me


I find it amazing that even though I was so lost and confused.. I knew I was. Sometimes I find myself in a train of thinking that says.. "that person is so lost... they don't even know it"... but I am glad SO GLAD that God made me creative and that I wrote down my struggles. Thus I am made aware of the possibilities of all human souls.. I am made aware through my own experience that God is greater than my stupidity and if I can overcome... So can so many other people.